Many of us played the game “telephone” as children. Let us take you back to that time, sitting around in a circle with your playmates. Around and around the circle, whispers of a specific phrase were passed, until the very last child says out loud what the phrase was supposed to be. There is a 100% chance that the phrase that started with the first child is not the same phrase that the last child blurts out! Although a comical game, we believe the game proves our “Co-Parenting Convo” tip of the week: Do not use your child as a middleman for communicating with your co-parent/co-caretaker!

Using your child as the middleman for communicating with your co-parent/co-caretaker often leads to confusion for everyone and can open your child to experiencing unnecessary emotional trauma. To be blunt, your child should not be responsible for having to tell your co-parent/co-caretaker that you are running late to pick them up for your parenting time, that you would like to change your holiday schedule, or that you can’t go to a specific conference or appointment that you said you would attend. While these can seem like innocent examples, your child cannot be responsible for having to provide this information to the other co-parent. By using your child as the messenger, you are also putting them on the receiving end of having to experience any negative responses from your co-parent/co-caretaker. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for and are usually emotionally attune in picking up on the subtle expressions and body language of both parents, even if the words used are not on their face negative. Additionally, using your child as the middleman can set an unhealthy precedent in cutting out important communication that should be happening with you and your co-parent/co-caretaker. After all, it's called co-parenting, not “co-childing”, for a reason!

So, use your co-parenting platforms, text, or even pick up the phone (there’s a novel idea!), to sort any issues necessary regarding your child, and give them a chance to just be a kid.

As always, stay up to date with “Co-Parenting Convos” by subscribing to our social media platforms and blog. If you need help with your custody and visitation/parenting time matter, or to discuss any co-parenting/co-caretaker communication issues, our experienced family law attorneys at Morris Williams LLC are here to help! Contact us today to schedule a consultation by calling (757) 226-9425 or by emailing us at admin@morriswilliamslaw.com .